How to Lose One's Male Pride
by Katie2
Summary: Trunsk will do ANYTHING for Pan now that they're married. But what happens when Pan is at her time of the month and Trunks is sent out to get THEM! A humorous story of a male saiyan's worst nightmare, the super market and *them*! Please read and review.


How to Lose One's Male Pride By Katie

Hey everyone! This is my new fic, attempting to be funny. I hope you all enjoy it. This is about Pan at that time of the month and having Trunks go down to the store to receive…the dreaded…***them***. Comical looks at what men do for their wives, even in the most drastic of times. Written from Trunks's POV.

Anyways the disclaimer is I don't own Dragonball so don't sue.

PLEASE read and review.

How to Lose One's Male Pride

By Katie

I sat intently before the television set watching Saturday morning soccer match. It was actually for once an interesting game, Manchester United versus Liverpool. I sat in excitement as Beckam chipped in a nice cross to Giggs and the ball was lightly flicked off of Giggs foot soaring cleanly through the air towards the net. I sat on the edge of my seat, biting my lip hard down. I am a major fan of Manchester United.

But just as everything seemed to be going my way the television shut off. I looked around in shock to see my wife of two months, Pan, standing their in the door way, holding her stomach, groaning, and in her other hand holding the television remote.

"Baby why'd you do that?" I cried out in anguish. My eyes were watering and my lip was being bitten hard. My right fist clenched and unclenched in a rhythmic pattern.

"I've been calling to you for the past twenty minutes Briefs Trunks!" she cried out stomping her foot firmly against the ground.

I breathed in sharply.

"I didn't hear you."

"You were too busy paying attention to that stupid television set to pay attention to me, your ever so wonderful wife?"

I gulped. I knew what that meant. She always stated those words when it was *this* time. I looked up at her, my fist releasing, my teeth off of my lip.

"I'm sorry." I stated, my voice shaking.

"Trunks I have cramps, no more of those things left in the house and all you can say is 'I'm sorry'?"

"I'm very sorry."

I could see my wife's anger growing immensely.

But she stopped as she groaned in pain. She dropped the controller onto the couch and wobbled back off into our bedroom. I managed a glance at the controller before I heard my wife call to me. I fumbled up to my feet before shooting off into our bedroom after her.

"Is there anything I can do for you baby?" I asked walking towards her. I decided that there must be something I could do so I slowly began to rub her feet to calm her down.

But that wasn't what she wanted. She kicked out at me and sent me sprawling over the room.

I dusted my self off before standing again. I walked over to her side, staying well out of range of her hand, just incase she decided to whack me if I said or did anything wrong.

"I'm a Saiyan Trunks, my time is a lot worse than human woman's. And above all else I am out to them."

I gulped as I searched my memory for what them meant.

"I know you get embraced when I say what I mean so you can just guess what them is."

I gasped. Not *them*, anything but *them*.

"I'm sorry about that baby."

"You kn0wo what babe, instead of being sorry about it you can do something about it."

I shot up to my feet and backed up.

"You know I love you Pan-chan, but I'm not doing that."

"Please? The stores only around the corner."

"No! I'm putting my foot down! No! I am not going down there to get your *things*. You'll get them yourself if your really want them."

That was it. Pan cracked.

"YOU WILL GO DOWN AND GET THEM! I AM IN SO MUCH PAIN! GET DOWN THERE, NOW!"

I gulped but I gained my courage for one last battle.

"Can't you get Bra or Marron to pick you up some? I'm sure they won't mind."

"I'm not calling Bra to come down to get them when the stores right around the corner and neither with Marron. I'm sorry baby but go and get me some."

I sighed. She had won.

I slunked off, muttering light swear words beneath my breath.

"Oh and get me some Menstrual Tylenol while your out."

I sighed. Double whammy.

*

I walked smartly down the steps of our apartment building towards the car. Even though the store was a five and a half minute walk from our apartment I wasn't going to live down the humiliation of having to walk home with *them*. SO I casually entered my car and drove down to the store.

My first problem, the parking lot was full.

"Damn small parking lots." I cursed as I drove back down the street towards the next parking lot. Great, I would still be seen walking with *them*.

I sprang out of my car and walked as fast as I could into the store. I cautiously walked towards the feminine product aisle. Unfortunately a painful memory hit me.

I was walking happily into the store, my first time going down for *them* for Pan. I walked down the aisle only to be confronted by two GORGEOUS girls. They smiled and tried to flirt until them realized what I was in there for. The just snickered at me and walked away. I thought it was nothing so I turned, only to be caught in a wave of ladies in their mid forties to late forties pushing me out to the other end of the aisle. There was some sort of two for one special going on.

I scrambled out of the aisle only to enter into the meat section. A few men were shopping with their wives, and sniggered. Their wives just giggled.

I went ten shades of red. I dashed into the closest aisle and dogged down it. I stopped running and sighed. I was home free, or so I thought.

My eyes grew wide. I was in the male item aisle. I saw a few weird looks from different guys in there, who noticed I was carrying ***them***. I laughed nervously and dashed down the rest of the aisle only to run smack dead into one of my employees.

I didn't really pay much attention to it until the next weekday.

But that's not the end of the tale, oh no. I arrived at the checkout counter, only to be confronted by some teenaged punk. He took a hold of my item and flipped it around. He tried to use the bar code, but it didn't work, he searched for a price tag, it wasn't there. I was shocked. Many more sniggers were heard. The boy just picked up the phone.

"I need a price tag on item #5426, Stayfree's Maxi Overnight's With Wings."

I heard too many sniggers. My face went bright red.

I just scrounged in my pocket, and through a bill at the guy. He laughed and watched me run for my life out of the store. I ran quickly down the street only to be confronted by two of my associates. They tried to talk to me but noticed what I was carrying and they tried to hold back their laughter as they walked past.

I could have died!

I galloped down the rest of the street home and dodged ungracefully into the apartment complex, almost bowling over the attendant. I just yelled back an apology but she didn't care, she had also noticed what I was carrying.

At work on Monday I didn't hear the end of it. I was never actually confronted about it, but words and gossip were spread about me having to go down and buy ***them*** for my wife.

I vowed never again to do that.

But here I am, in the store, walking down to the feminine aisle for my one and only.

"May I help you?" I turned bright red and I turned to look at her.

"Uh…I'm here… I'm here to get some…um…milk…ya, milk! That's it! Milk!"

This confused the woman. She just shook her head and pointed to aisle five. I turned and walked in the opposite direction, only to confuse her further.

I turned sharply towards the feminine aisle and entered it, first checking if anyone was there. No one. I was relieved. I walked down the rest of the aisle for the products.

I stopped in front of a huge colossal wall of them. Somehow I had remembered the wall being a lot smaller.

I felt myself stop breathing. What type did she want?

I was shocked when a female employee of mine approached me.

"Sir, what are you doing here?" I gulped and reached for anything. Hoping it wasn't a feminine product like those I was looking at. It felt the same, the same plastic feeling, same squishy contents. I scrunched my eyes closed and looked down. It thankfully wasn't ***them***, but an entirely different type of ***thems***. I help diapers strongly within my grip.

The woman looked at me in shock.

"Is this why your wife hasn't showed up for a while to great you at work?"

I cringed.

"Um…they're…they're…they're for a friend! Ya! They're for my sister!"

Funny, Bra doesn't need them.

"Oh, I didn't know she had a child."

"Um…she doesn't…just an over proactive bladder problem."

Well at least I wasn't making too much of a fool of myself here. I was more making a fool of her. I know I'll get fists in the face for this later. But ya never know, maybe I was making a fool of myself. Guess I wont know for a while.

She just looked at me funny and grabbed a package of tampons and walked away.

Why couldn't Panny ask for something small, like tampons? They're small, compact, and the box can easily be hidden from view until I reach the cashier.

I placed the pouch back, only to be seen by more women who began whispering about the President of Capsule Corp having a secret love child. I could have hurt everyone who said that, but I didn't, I was too much of a gentleman (okay maybe its because I don't need Pan to yell at me and tell me to sleep on the couch for the rest of the month.

I shot a glance down the aisle. More people. I dodged into the next aisle over and grabbed the first item. I just happened to grab a bottle of juice. I flipped it over and read the ingredients as a few woman walked by. They eyed me and I quickly flashed my wedding ring. They sighed and walked past, realizing who I was.

Gockers, you must love them on any other time but this.

I walked back into the aisle. I thought I was home free. That was until I saw my father standing their grabbing a different ***them***. I laughed lightly.

"Mother need's some of those ***thems***, huh Toussan?"

My mother had been on some sort of menopause delayer pills for a while and just got off of them because of side affects and is now going through it. My Toussan is buying her stuff for it. I couldn't help but laugh.

"Don't say a word." He stated sharply. He grabbed one and stalked away. Only to be confronted by that same old woman as I was earlier.

"Can I help you with anything?"

My father sniggered.

"That man over there needs help trying to pick out a type of maxi for his wife. I couldn't help."

Damn my father!

This woman went through and gave me a detailed explanation on each type. Light, medium, heavy and overnight. She handed me three different types and asked if there was anything else I needed.

I shook my head.

She smiled.

"Good. Now have a good day."

I dashed back down the aisle, ramming into a lady and her shopping cart. I sprawled across the floor. Landing on some eggs. I apologized and put her stuff back in her cart.

"How rude!" she stated angrily. "Get me some more eggs for breaking mine."

Usually I would have complied happily but I didn't want to now.

"I'm kind of in a hurry ma'am."

"I don't care if your President Briefs or not and in a hurry. Go and get me some more!"

I complied unhappily, running down the aisles to get her some more eggs. I felt the stares and sniggers of people seeing me holding so many things of ***them***. I ignored the looks and ran faster. I returned to the spot only to see she wasn't there. I searched around the store for her, eventually finding her back at the egg section. I placed the eggs in her cart and dashed off to the checkout counter. I received so many looks that I couldn't stand. I eagerly handed her the packages. He scanned over them quickly; unfortunately, it was the same boy as before. He sniggered as he said out loud what my items were. He was so loud I'm surprised the whole world didn't hear him!

I handed him some cash. He accepted it and gave me my change and I sped off, only to here him call.

"Sir, you forgot your Always Super Absorbent Panty Liners!"

I long since forgot about acting cool. I dashed over, grabbed them, and ran like the devil himself was on my tail.

The distance to the Air car seemed to have grown since I was last there. I threw my bags into the car and jumped in. I turned the ignition key only to find the car wouldn't work. I cursed the stupid vehicle.

I got out again and walked over to the hood. I looked inside and steam filled my face. I looked through it, only to realize something had flooded. Its nothing I could deal with at that moment. I would have to get a new part in.

"DAMN!" I cried. I reached into my pocket to try and find my cell phone but of course, I had forgotten it at home.

Was the whole world against me, or was Dende just trying to have some fun with me?

I ran over to the pay phone and called a tow truck. The tow truck arrived. I took my bags out as my air car was towed away.

Now I would have to live down the fact I was carrying two bags full of ***them*** home on a ten minute walk instead of a five and a half minute.

Pan will not be happy with me. This whole incident with a tow truck had cost me a lot of time, not to mention a lot of my pride when a man pulled up to get the car and I took the bags out of the car.

DAMN MY LUCK!

I ran quickly down the street. I would have flown but that would probably make me lose all of my credibility amongst people.

I would never live down the rumors on Monday about my "secret love child", not to mention the beatings from father for making a fool out of Bra and the thrashings from her as well. This one little shopping trip was going to cost me all of my pride, no wait a second, it already had.

I entered the apartment complex only to be spotted by more people. I walked through them, a dark shade of crimson, up to our apartment. I opened the door and walked in. I brought the bags over to my wife who just looked at them. I took them out and handed them to her.

She just shook her head.

"I can't use Always Trunks, they irritate my skin. I can only use Stayfree's Extra Absorbent Maxi pads. Oh and you didn't get any medium days ones. You only got light, heavy, and overnight. I need medium day ones. Oh, and where's my Menstrual Tylenol?"

The last thing I remember before blacking out was hearing a cry of fear escape my lips.

The End

Stupid, I know, fun to write, yes. I got to torture Trunks in this one. ::Katie dodges bullets and lots and lots of vegetables thrown at her and she gulps as she hears a rifle being loaded::. Hehe sorry. Anyways I kind of enjoyed writing this, I hope everyone enjoyed reading it.

Thanks for reading and PLEASE review.

Katie


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